early to bed
i went to bed pretty early last night, read a while, and got some good sleep, although noise from the market in the morning made it hard to get up. it was dawn when i opened my eye and 7 when i looked out at the clock. lingering was too attractive. but i spent that time to breath and connect to myself somehow. in that way it felt good, perhaps just to unconsciously fight the thoughts.
an unpleasant memory from 14 days ago popped into my head. all weird encounter at the passport office, where everyone was clueless and i was new to the world. i could sink into it all day, but it doesn't help. feel all i can feel, accept it happened, know that it doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, and choose something bright. one of these days i can try another way to attain what i need, in my pace. non-contact preferred now that i got a pretty good passport photo taken.
i had a good time with math yesterday, and i could see that going screen-free in the afternoon helped my sleep. had an urge to open math again in the afternoon, but it was true that coming back after some sleep is better than sticking to it. my brain had sometime to let it sink in, so i feel comfortable with it now.
a screen-free dinner could be the next step. usually i have dinner with one or two episodes of big bang theory. today, the moving images keep flashing in my head.
looking up, it's a blue sky with white, fluffy, giant clouds and all around it's the crystal light of November sun
'just keep moving, it's such a wondrous world out there'
let's make some crappy instant hot coffee. and sing along 'heroes' by David Bowie.